This is an installment of our series, Love Life & Literature: Romance in Real Life. In this series, we (myself and Meghan) will be delving into the ups, downs, frustrations, butterflies, and everything in between as career women who love romance, but are still searching in a world that isn’t all Mr. Darcy’s and Prince Charming’s.
Oh no, he caught me staring! I was sitting outside by myself, waiting for my friends to meet me, when I caught the eye of this cute guy I had seen around but never talked to in person. I had tried to look at my phone or find some other means of distraction but my eyes kept being pulled his way where he’d meet my glance. The awkward eye contact continued for probably twenty minutes until my friends had finally showed up and I was given something to occupy myself with while still casually stealing a glance when I could. As it turned out, he had known one of my friends and came over to say hi. I was a nervous, bumbling mess, to say the least, but we eventually found ourselves standing aside from the group getting lost in a conversation of our own.
Not long after, I got to know him better through texting and hanging out and was soon convinced that he was going to play a significant role in my life—either I’d be learning an important lesson from our time together or it would be a relationship that would last (for the longest time I imagined it was the latter). I had honestly never met another guy that even came close to checking off on all the expectations and ideas I had created for my perfect someone. . . until him. And trust me, as an avid reader of romance novels, there were a lot. Our beliefs, dreams, and ideals all matched up. He knew American Sign Language (one of my greatest passions), loved watching documentaries and musicals, adored kids, and had an unbelievable passion for God—it was a little odd how well he fit with the ideal man I had created in my mind. We even only like the same two fruits—how much more exact could you get? Every moment we spent together was an adventure. We’d go stroll around parks for hours, go puddle jumping, and talk about everything and nothing at all. He was a perfect gentleman in everything he said and did and treated me better than anything I deserved.
Then time passed and things changed. The amazing, adventure-filled days still existed when I would walk away thinking, there’s no doubt that this is meant to be. Yet, there were also many rough patches when I would be so lost in confusion and fear as I prayed to God for understanding because I was scared that I was pursuing my own path instead of His and my heart was caught up in something that wasn’t intended for me.
I had read Meghan’s post last week, On Meet-Cutes & Settling, and was inspired to write one of my own that focused on the opposite of what she had experienced. She had talked about finding someone who could is perfect on paper but doesn’t necessarily spark anything inside of you and I was moved to talk about the reverse: you find someone who is so unbelievably perfect for you but you’re stuck between moving on and waiting.
The meet-cutes and Hallmark-worthy moments do exist, dearest readers. There will be times when you meet someone and there are fireworks and extremely adorable moments that leave you falling against your door with a wide grin on your face then rushing to your bed to let out a squeal into your pillow. However, like every other novel, there is always some sort of conflict that the main characters have to sort out before making it to their happily ever after; and there’s also the chance that the one who you think is the co-main is simply a supporting character. No relationship is as easy and simple as your favorite books make it out to be—those authors have to leave out a lot of the everyday pains and confusion for the sake of their books not being thousands of pages long. It’s easy to second-guess and be filled with anxiety and fear because things aren’t working out how you want them to; and so you must fully trust in God’s plans.
This guy I had met, I honestly didn’t know what to do. Do I wait for him and fight for things to work out or do I just drop everything and move on? I decided to do a little bit of both: I walked away from the situation with the mindset that God knows exactly what he wants for my life and if this guy is apart of it, God will bring the both of us together. If not, I’ll be given the strength and ability to move on. So, I decided to wait on God and work on bettering myself.
Friend, if you’ve found someone (or if you do find someone in the future) that you have decided to pursue and wait for, despite any obstacles or heartache that have been put before you, that’s exactly what you’re going to have to do. You’re going to have to wake up every day with the knowledge that God has everything under control and persevere through whatever struggles and hurts that life throws your way until God’s plan becomes clear.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
And until then, it’s best to just move on. I don’t mean cut them out of your life—I did that once and still regret it—but focus on yourself. Take the energy you’re putting in worrying about the situation and focus it on striving to fulfill your goals and your dreams. Live to make the people around you feel loved and happy. Enjoy the presence of your friends. Meet new people. Dance in the rain. Explore new places. Look for the beauty in the little things. Don’t be afraid to consider other individuals in case a further relationship is not meant to be.
While you’re doing that, give the person you’re set on time and space to grow and figure things out. The most you can do is pray for that person. When you can’t stop thinking about them, pray for them. When you are inclined to look through their Facebook just one more time that day, pray for them. When you check your phone to see if they texted you, pray for them. Pray for God to show you the plan that He has for you and this person but also solely for you because there’s a chance His plan is different than yours.
And honey, if things don’t work out in the end, just find peace and excitement in knowing that if God doesn’t intend this amazing person that has been brought into your life for you, that means He may have somebody even more spectacular waiting for you somewhere!
And to close this, I found this phenomenal quote by Lysa Terkeurst that I wanted to share with y’all!
Meghan and I will be taking turns every Friday, talking about Love Life & Literature! Keep an eye out for her blog post at www.northernbellemeg.com next Friday! Until then, read her post from last week: On Meet-Cutes & Settling.
Follow us on social media to keep in touch!