I hate to admit this, but I haven't attended church in weeks and have hardly cracked my Bible since then. I wake up with no motivation to put on a face that the world will find acceptable and feel so fed up with myself for not being a perfect Christian to the point where I can hardly even talk to God.
These are what I call my dry seasons. They hit me like a freight train unexpectedly and even when I desperately want to fix them and I tell myself I will, I still find myself dragging to patch things up again.
Then I recently started to realize something: It's awesome to want to be passionately in love with Jesus with all your being, but you don't need to beat yourself up about it when you are struggling. We go through these seasons because we're human and they happen so that we can grow.
We have to learn to be prepared for the times when we can barely hang on to God with an intellectual thread, but also for the seasons where we are so enamored by Him that we want to be at church every day and want to show the world how He has changed us. We are to be honest and sincere in the dry valleys but also ready to scream His name on the mountain top.
All in all, we should enjoy both of the seasons because both of them help us grow and play a significant role in our lives. The dark seasons help us dig our roots deeps in God even when we don't feel Him or sense His work in the struggles we're facing. The bright seasons bring renewal and blooming fruits that cause us to be laughing, weeping, and so full of the Spirit.
Don't be ashamed of the fall and winter seasons when you're struggling to bring yourself to God. We were made imperfect by a perfect God who expects us to face these times.
And you know what the beauty of this all is?
Loving Jesus isn't all up to you. He's the one who woos, who draws, who beckons, who calls. Loving Him is the easy part; God loving you cost His Son. The more you realize it's less about you, the more free you will be to love God all the more.
"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness." -Lamentations 3:21-23
Thankfully, I discovered a church I'm interested in somewhat nearby called Grace Church (which is a crazy coincidence that deserves its own blog post) that I'm pushing myself to try out on Sunday and I'm easing myself back in to the relationship I had with my adoring Father.
If you're going through a rough season, my challenge for you this week is to try to ease yourself back in. Like any relationship, loving God takes effort and if you start out by reading a verse a day or saying a simple prayer before you go to bed, it may help you back on your feet. You are so loved!
Meghan and I will be taking turns every Friday, talking about Love Life & Literature! Keep an eye out for her blog post at www.northernbellemeg.com next Friday! Until then, read her post from last week: Any Man of Mine
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